Concerning Rainbow Dash
by TurkeySM
Summary: The fourth of many back-and-forth dialogues between a brony and a non-brony regarding My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The lines that are in italics belong to the non-brony.


_Ah, this peace and quiet's been nice! Haven't met with any crazed weirdos late-_

WHOA! WATCH OUT OR I'M GONNA-

_OOF! Ughh, spoke too soon…_

Ow, ow…oh whoops! Sorry about that, heh heh! Didn't mean to crash into you. I was practicing my super running skills!

_…and why were you running around like some crazed maniac?_

HEY! I'm not a maniac! Although I guess I am a bit crazy for speed. I'm trying to be like my hero Rainbow Dash!

_Rainbow who?_

Rainbow Dash! The speediest, most agile, gutsiest, most styling, coolest, awesomest, radicalest, pegasus to ever come out of Cloudsdale!

_Another pony person? Oy, this is gonna be a fun day…_

Did you say fun! I love fun things! Rainbow Dash loves fun things!

_Does she now? Or he?_

SHE! And before you say anything, she is not a lesbian or anything just because of the whole rainbow thing! Well, not that I know of anyway.

_How nice. Alright, let's get this over with. What does this Rainbow Dash do for a living?_

GREAT QUESTION! She's only the speediest, most agile, gutsie-

_Aren't you just using the same adjectives as before?_

DON'T INTERRUPT MY COOL AND AWESOME AND RADICAL DESCRIBING! Now where was I? Um, eh, I forget. She's a weatherpony in Ponyville. It's a rad job!

_A weatherpony huh? So does she predict the weather or something?_

Predict the weather?! Pfttt, she makes the weather! She helps clear the skies or set up the rain clouds depending on whatever the town needs! She'd never leave Ponyville hanging!

_I gotta admit, that does sound pretty cool._

I know right! Only a cool job can match this cool mare! To tell you the truth though, being a weatherpony isn't her preferred job.

_Oh? She has dreams she wishes to fulfill?_

Heck yeah she does! She wants to – pause for dramatic effect –

_…_

JOIN THE WONDERBOLTS!

_The Wonderbolts?_

Yeah! The Wonderbolts are only the best stunt fliers in all of Equestria! It's been her dream to join them for, like, forever!

_Stunt devils, eh? I assume that explains her need for speed?_

Aw yeah it does! Wait, how'd you know she likes speed? I never said that. ARE YOU A SPY?!

_What?! I'm not a spy! It's just me, Gabe New—wait, what in the world am I saying? Argh, anyway, I'm just assuming she likes to be fast since you're running around like crazy and you did say she's your hero._

Oh yeah, I guess that's true.

_That and you did mention that she's the speediest-_

Stop putting words in my mouth! I specifically said she was the speediest, most agile, gutsie-

_Using the same adjectives again._

WHO CARES?! Rainbow Dash deserves to be praised as many times as needed!

_Wouldn't praising her too much inflate her ego?_

NO. That'd never ever happen! She's way too cool and radical and awesome to have an ego! What's an ego?

_Too much pride, arroga-_

TOO MUCH PRIDE?! You can never have too much pride! That's what makes Rainbow Dash awesome! She's got pride to share with everypony!

_Jee, sounds swell._

It is isn't it? She's so cool with her generosity and-

_Doesn't generosity go to Rari-_

What're you talking about?! It's Rainbow Dash who's got all the cool qualities! In fact, she could share her awesomeness in ten seconds flat with everypony if she wanted to!

_How do you share awesomeness?_

Don't question how Rainbow Dash does things! It's a secret! Hey, speaking of secrets, wanna hear one of Rainbow Dash's?

_But you just said not to question about Rainb-_

There you go putting words in my mouth again! Just listen! Did you know she…likes to read?

_No, I did not know that she likes to read. Am I supposed to be surprised?_

YOU SHOULD BE! Who woulda thought that the coolest athlete of Ponyville could also be a genius?

_How does reading make you a geniu-_

TWILIGHT READS AND SHE'S A GENIUS!

_O…k?_

So as I was saying, Rainbow Dash reads these cool Daring Do novels that are filled with adventure and treasures and ahuizotls and it shows how she's one big awesome package of smarts and speed!

_What's an ahuizotl? Eh, don't bother with that question. So I guess it's a good thing she's balanced in her lifestyle._

Eeyup! Wait, why'd I say that? That's not a cool thing Rainbow Dash would say! But, yeah, it's so awesome! It makes me want to be like her even more!

_Why does the thought of a chicken come to mind every time you bring up how you idolize her?_

Chicken? Oh! That reminds me of when Pinkie Pie dressed up as a chicken for Nightmare Night! Hey, now that I think about it, Nightmare Night's coming up! Can't wait to dress up as Rainbow Dash!

_Nightmare Night? Sounds like Halloween._

Pfftt, what's Halloween? Sounds lame sounding like "weenie"! Nightmare Night sounds 20% cooler! Do you wanna know why?

_Because Rainbow Dash?_

Exactly! Rainbow Dash celebrates Nightmare Night, not this "Halloweenie"! So Nightmare Night is 20% cooler! Rainbow Dash makes everything 20% cooler!

_How numerically wonderful._

You bet your awesomeness it is!

_…does Rainbow Dash sound like you?_

GASP! I SOUND LIKE RAINBOW DASH?! OMYGOSHOMYGOSHOMYGOSHOMYGOSHOMYGOSH! I'VE FINALLY BECOME A BIT MORE LIKE RAINBOW DASH! BEST DAY EVER!

_How nice. Now if only your enthusiasm didn't tire me out so much. Ughh, I feel woozy._

OH! I forgot to tell you! Your head's bleeding from when you fell over when I crashed into you.

_WHAT?! I'M BLEEDING AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW?! Hrnggg, I AM BLEEDING! OMYGOSH OMYGOSH OMYGOSH OMYGOSH OMYGOSH! ARGHHH! MEDIC!_

Why're you running that way? The hospital's over there! OOOH! DO YOU WANNA RACE? I'LL SO BEAT YOU! READY SET GO!

**[Fin]**


End file.
